Urgent: For all chocoholics worldwide!

According to "Mail Online News," civil unrest in the Ivory Coast (where 40% of the world's cocoa beans are grown) is causing the cocoa farmers to move. It's already caused a 10% increase in the price of chocolate in this month alone. Next, we'll see the prices skyrocket higher and higher.

"Supplies of sustainable cocoa are set to run out, it's that simple," says Angus Kennedy, a leading British chocolatier.

 What's more, the sustainability of cocoa is projected to last only a few more years. Doom's date: 2014!

What are we chocoholics going to do?!

Personally, I intend on buying in bulk and stuffing my freezer with chocolate before prices become too unreasonable. Then, I may just look into what it takes to become a certified cocoa bean farmer, and if our soil is suitable for cocoa trees.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1351066/Will-chocolate-drought-World-s-supply-sustainable-cocoa-run-2014.html#ixzz1D0rc5Xzm

Word Confusion (Part 3): At Work

You know how when you’re super-tired you do everything on autopilot? As a waitress, it’s not good to be sleepy on shift. But it happens. And when it does, I do the normal things that tired people do – I forget to bring straws, ask the same question twice, or accidently bring food to the wrong table. 

But I also confuse my words when I’m exhausted at work. When asking what side choices a customer wants with his or her entrée, I am supposed to ask, “Would you like that with red potatoes, a baked potato, rice pilaf, penne pasta, sliced tomatoes, cottage cheese, or French fries?” Too often it has come out – or some variation of – “Would you like red pilaf, potatoes, penne tomatoes, French cheese or French fries.”

If the guest chooses a baked potato, I am supposed to ask if they want it with butter, sour cream, and chives. But when tired, I tend to ask what kind of dressing they want for their baked potato.

When I check back on a table, I am supposed to ask, “And how is the Halibut tonight?” But when I’m tired, I forget what fish they ordered and try to figure it out by looking. Unfortunately wood fired Snapper can look a lot like wood fired Mahi Mahi, which also resembles Halibut in color. I learned the hard way that blurting out what fish you think it looks like usually results in confused, and sometimes put-out, customers. Now if I’m feeling tired, I don’t even bother. I just ask: “How’s everything tasting?”

After they’ve finished eating, I am supposed to suggest two desserts. I often recommend Chocolate Ganache and Key Lime Pie. But when I’m tired, for some reason I almost always ask: “How about some Chocolate Ganache or Fishermen Stew?” This typically produces curious looks or amused chuckles from the guests. And if I wasn’t so tired during these episodes, I probably would have blushed.  

I can’t tell you how many times these sorts of incidents have happened. I guess the moral of the story is: Get more sleep.

For the Love of Lists

I love lists. I write my to-do lists in multiple places. For fastest access, I use my small notepad that I keep my purse. I also write lists on my white-board. And I make note of things in my cell phone calendar as well as my paper calendar.

I love lists, but I also need lists to remember what I need to do and when. Important things to remember get written in multiple places. Very important things, or events I can’t forget, are starred, underlined, and/or circled. If it’s something I keep putting off but know I need to do, it usually gets starred, underlined, and circled.

I love making and organizing a list. And there’s a certain satisfaction in one by one crossing off the things I’ve finished. It’s like a rewarding oneself for a small accomplishment. If I wrote in pencil or on the dry-erase white-board, I erase them. But if I used pen, I scratch it out. Sometimes I scratch it out so vehemently that it just becomes a big black mark on the page. 

I have also begun getting in the habit of emailing reminders to myself. It’s getting almost obsessive and ridiculous!

Word Confusion (Part 2)

Confusing words is a problem I’ve had for as long as I can remember. When I was younger, it was no secret that I liked being the center of attention. So my family naturally assumed I did this for the attention and laughs that it evoked. But as I got older, they realized it really wasn’t an act. If only it was! Although it can be humorous, it has also been the cause of many awkward situations.

Not only do I mix up words, but I also mix up phrases and clichés. 99% of the time I don’t realize it until I notice the confused/amused look on someone’s face. For many years, when getting this look, I would insist: 

 “It’s a saying.” To which, he/she would inform me of what the correct phrase actually was. Now, I’ve learned. If I get that look, I immediately ask: “What did I mean to say?”

Here are some recent examples:

Last night, I was explaining how a guy at work got upset because everything was going wrong. I said that he “blew the handle.” I was then told that he actually “flew off the handle” or “blew a gasket.”  

I have explained that someone was “sick as a horse” rather than a dog.

Along the same lines, just today I explained that my poor classmate was “dog sick.” But apparently the phrase is “dog tired.” So you can be “sick as a dog” but not “dog sick.” Sometimes clichés really don’t seem logical. 

I’ve also recently said that we’d have to “eat the bullet” rather than “eat it” or “bite the bullet.”

I do know that I’m not alone in my cliché-confusion. I heard a comedian who has a wife that the same thing. He calls the slip-ups: “Heatherisms.” So my family calls mine: “Joleneisms.”

Does anyone else confuse clichés?

Birthday = Chocolate

My birthday is this coming Sunday. So this week I’ve been treating myself to delicious double fudge chocolate chip brownies with chocolate fudge frosting. It’s my birthday present to me.

I considered making fudge too, but then I realized that might be a bit too much (considering I also traditionally make myself a chocolate birthday cake). Speaking of cake, I am such a fiend for frosting that I cut my piece of cake in half – the bottom being just cake, and the top being mostly frosting. Then I’ll eat the plain cake with a bite of ice cream (chocolate of course), and save the frosting for last.

I tend to rationalize my chocolate obsession/addiction. I sometimes eat loads of fruits and veggies to “cancel” out the chocolate I just inhaled. I have also even skipped meals to have extra chocolate – “extra” meaning above my typical daily chocolate intake.

Does anyone else have rationalizations for feeding your sweet-tooth?    

Word Confusion

I sometimes have issues remembering the right word in casual conversation. It’s not because I try to impress people with eloquent verbiage. No, not at all. It’s the simple words that often elude me. And I usually end up blurting out the wrong word in its place. Sometimes I don’t even realize the blunder until I see the look on the other person’s face.

I most often confuse nouns. Some examples of types of my slip-ups are:

• “I put the dishes in the garbage” (meaning dishwasher).
• “I put the mail in the sink” (meaning on the table).

Sometimes the bloopers are somewhat logical:

• If I am teaching a violin lesson right after writing something, I say, “Start at the beginning of this sentence” when I mean “measure.” I have also said, “Go back to this period” when I meant “note.” And, “Start at this stanza” when poetry has been on my brain.
• I may say, “My laundry is in the fridge” if I am standing in front of the refrigerator.
• I may also say, “I want to take a walk with my homework” – Oh wait, no I wouldn’t say that one. I think I just experienced word-confusion on paper!

Sometimes I’ll realize that I can’t think of the right word and will pause for a bit with my brow scrunched in deep, brain-wracking thought. Other times, I’ll hold out an “ahhhhhhh” as I try to remember.

More recently, I’ve begun a new tactic that has proved quite successful – I act out the word I’m looking for or use other words to describe it (kind of like a game, except I can’t remember the correct answer until I hear it). The irony is that I will often describe the simplest of words with words that are significantly more complex. It really doesn’t make much sense.

Unfortunately, I feel rather alone in this dilemma of word confusion because I’ve never met anyone else who has this problem!

Confessions of a Chocoholic

I work at a restaurant that has the most wonderful chocolate Ganache cake. I always recommend it to my customers. It’s a rich, decadent chocolate – similar to the consistency of cheesecake – with a rich Oreo cookie crust. Everyone that I have served it to has absolutely loved it. 

Sometimes though, the guests that are too full from their meals don’t finish their Ganache. Such a shame! It is during these rare times that I do something I once swore I’d never do: After taking the dish away, I grab a fork and finish off the Ganache myself. This has shocked many of my friends that consider me germ phobic. But I just mentally pretend that the customers are friends of mine. And that’s all it takes for me to easily dig into their half-eaten dessert. 

Whenever I order chocolate Ganache for myself at work, I change the presentation a bit. It’s supposed to be served over Marion berry puree with whip cream on top. For myself, I set it on a hunk of hot fudge. And on top of the whip cream, I drizzle Hershey’s syrup. So delicious! 

Customer Review: “The chocolate ganache cake (which is actually a pie) is one of the best desserts anywhere.”