Word Confusion (Part 2)

Confusing words is a problem I’ve had for as long as I can remember. When I was younger, it was no secret that I liked being the center of attention. So my family naturally assumed I did this for the attention and laughs that it evoked. But as I got older, they realized it really wasn’t an act. If only it was! Although it can be humorous, it has also been the cause of many awkward situations.

Not only do I mix up words, but I also mix up phrases and clichés. 99% of the time I don’t realize it until I notice the confused/amused look on someone’s face. For many years, when getting this look, I would insist: 

 “It’s a saying.” To which, he/she would inform me of what the correct phrase actually was. Now, I’ve learned. If I get that look, I immediately ask: “What did I mean to say?”

Here are some recent examples:

Last night, I was explaining how a guy at work got upset because everything was going wrong. I said that he “blew the handle.” I was then told that he actually “flew off the handle” or “blew a gasket.”  

I have explained that someone was “sick as a horse” rather than a dog.

Along the same lines, just today I explained that my poor classmate was “dog sick.” But apparently the phrase is “dog tired.” So you can be “sick as a dog” but not “dog sick.” Sometimes clichés really don’t seem logical. 

I’ve also recently said that we’d have to “eat the bullet” rather than “eat it” or “bite the bullet.”

I do know that I’m not alone in my cliché-confusion. I heard a comedian who has a wife that the same thing. He calls the slip-ups: “Heatherisms.” So my family calls mine: “Joleneisms.”

Does anyone else confuse clichés?